I threw a temper tantrum on eBay

Aside from the agony and self torture I put myself through when I know I’ve done something wrong,  after sitting down with myself for some serious self  introspection I’ve come to realize that it’s more than just a tantrum.  It’s that I lost faith in my own self and as a result I allowed myself to succumb to fear which,  turned inward becomes anger.    Anger is never good.  How very self destructive.

Ebay can be very stressful for  small businesses and I wonder how many others experience the same anger in their journey, be it on their way back up from a fall, fighting to find a new niche or just getting started?

If I [we] allow it to become a pattern then I’ll [we’ll] always fail…. even when I [we] don’t.  That’s the outcome of my self introspection following my tantrum,  but what was my tantrum about?  Something so simple.  Lack of patience.  I owe @DevinWenig an apology as well as @AskeBay an apology.  I’m probably being harsh with myself and they’re probably used to it but this doesn’t make it right.  It makes a miserable environment that potentially can get me into trouble with eBay.  If I’m depending on eBay for my livelihood, and if I’m genuinely thankful for the opportunity to be my own boss, work at my own pace, sometimes in my pajamas, have an unlimited earning potential and a bright future, then why am I creating my own roadblocks?

My temper tantrum was this;  I became a snot nosed child throwing puff punches at eBay for no other reason than I can’t control EVERYTHING.  I can micromanage every aspect of my life, I can be a controlling girlfriend, I can be a controlling pet owner, but what I can’t be is controlling of eBay.  It drives CRAZY!!  Crazy lady comin’ through!

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In my defense, the bidding didn’t look like this [above] when I threw the tantrum.  It looked something more like this [below]…

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..and this is why I lost control of my sanity.  The thing of it is this; when I run auctions, which is mostly what I do as opposed to “Buy it Now”, I know that the bidders will bid the item up (or down) to it’s resale market value.  I may think the end result is wrong, but the truth is,  the buyers/bidders drive the market.  I know this.

I know my product.  I’d like to think I choose my products wisely.  I’d also like to think I know it all.  What’s great about eBay is what’s driving me insane.  It’s that I can control nothing {insert grrrr noise here} in a life where I control everything…. but my temper.  I can be such an asshole… but lets get past that and move on to what I’ve learned.

For home based eBay businesses, especially those with limited storage space, auctions really are the best way to survive and earn a living.  There are variables that come into play, and having to compete with cheap Chinese knockoffs or an over saturated market in a very competitive niche has very little to do with it.

My niche is fashion.  I love fashion.  I know fashion.  I have an entire eBay careers worth of experience with fashion.  While I don’t know everything there is to know about fashion, I’m smart enough to conduct searches through eBay’s completed auctions section to find out what’s selling.   I don’t watch T.V. but I do watch YouTube videos, social media videos around the web and news videos.  All of the women I see in the videos have one important fact in common and that is that they all wear clothing as do the women at the cash register as I’m reading the tag lines of Vogue Magazine, Cosmo and all of the Rag Mags.  If I’m in a long line I’ll grab one and start browsing.  If I see something interesting, I’ll buy the magazine.  One need not be very bright to do this.

What I’m saying is, if you know your product and you proactively seek out new information, it really is impossible to fail.  But then there’s more.  What days do the average, mainstream Americans get paid?  Do their shopping?  Do their browsing and bookmarking?  There’s a synchronicity to it.

…and last but not least (lesson learned), stay… away… from the eBay community message boards.  The majority of the people who post messages are posting them in angst.  They are impatient too.  They are venting, being negative, spreading false information, often insulting to one another, sometimes passively, sometimes aggressively, but most important, they are affecting your psyche.  Misery loves company.  If they are down, they want you to be down too.  If you read it enough, it begins to set in.  Don’t let it set in.  Just don’t read it.  Take it out of your bookmarks.  Forget it exists.  Think of it this way, when is the last time you saw one of the larger, more financially fit businesses hanging out and posting?  They are busy being financially fit what is what the rest of us should be doing.

Yesterday was for learning.  The day before was for practice.  Today is for taking the trophy.  It’s an old saying my gymnastics coach drilled in my head when I was a kid.  It’s stuck with me all my life.

So in the end, my zero bid blouse sold for it’s resale market value.  I allowed myself to forget what I know and I grew impatient.  Bidding usually doesn’t gain momentum daily.  Auctions are awesome and for the most part, if done with forethought, turn out right 🙂

A Call To Action: Boycott Mainstream Media

Fair notice to mainstream media. As you continue to force your negativity, your opinions and your false rhetoric down the throats of mainstream America, you’re failing to recognize the obvious fact that the mainstream population is moving away from you.  There is a reason we’ve turned you off and tuned you out.  Your life and your opinions are no more important than the millions of unemployed, under employed, self employed, small American business owners and hard working individuals that populate this country.  There are more of us than there are of you.  It’s time to see yourselves for who you really are.

  1.  Your life is not important and neither is your opinion.  Opinions are like assholes.   The media seems to have a few too many of them.
  2. Journalism and reporting is not subjective.  It’s foundation is objective.
  3. Celebrities do not have an opinion.  We pull your strings, you dance.
  4. News, “reporters” are objects we turn on at 6pm. You tell us facts, and then you go back into your box until tomorrow at the same time, same place.

Get over yourselves.   If I am not looking at your face in the mirror when I brush my teeth in the morning, then your opinion means nothing.  If you don’t understand what that means, and clearly you don’t, it means, we see our own reflection or the reflection of those who are important to us, and those are the only opinions that matter.

I am tired of feeling judged by a “news” entity who doesn’t even know I exist.  I’m tired of you believing that I should be told what I should and shouldn’t think, feel, eat, breathe, live.   You are a select few who have no idea what it’s like to get in MY car and drive to MY job every day.  Here in the REAL WORLD my life is much more important than yours.

When you stop reporting your opinion, I will reconsider adding you to the list of channels I subscribe to.

Until then,  subject line, “remove”.

Tag this:  ego, egocentric, self centered, narcissistic, the elephant in the room.

 

This Damn Michael Kors bag!!

…will be the death of me if not by heart attack then by mass chocolate binge!

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I’ve sold this Michael Kors bag twice already (on ebay).  Both sales ended in nonpayment which is why this time I skipped the auction format and have it listed in the , “Buy it Now” format.   I like that women love this bag enough to flock to the auction ripping each others hair out in a fuzz flying bidding frenzy that ends with someone laying on the floor with smudged lip gloss,   but at some point someone needs to step up to the plate and show these fiesty little girls that the whole crab mentality thing is so yesterday.   Real women have more class as well as follow through.  We’re adults, ladies.  (I hope you enjoyed that visual as much as I did).

Fun Fact:  Crab mentality, sometimes referred to as crabs in the bucket (also barrel, basket or pot), is a way of thinking best described by the phrase, “if I can’t have it, neither can you.”

[1] The metaphor refers to a bucket of crabs. Individually, the crabs could easily escape from the bucket, but instead they grab at each other in a useless “king of the hill” competition which prevents any from escaping and ensures their collective demise.

The analogy in human behavior is claimed to be that members of a group will attempt to negate or diminish the importance of any member who achieves success beyond the others, out of envy, spite, conspiracy, or competitive feelings, to halt their progress.

My Michael Kors Bag listing on eBay